Hello Melbourne…..

….. what treats do you have in store for me?  To be honest I rather believe this gritty artistic city is making my life harder than necessary.  Oh yes Melbourne has some cool stuff happening – galleries, cafes, a quirky music scene plus impressive and fun bars.  On the otherhand it’s been keeping me on my toes.

  • I have been stranded for thirty minutes in a lift with eight other people.  Conversation was poor and included Gangnam.  The temperature was beginning to spiral out of control and disturbingly there was talk of removing clothing.  Wall space was insufficient for everyone to lean against so a rota was discussed.  Hmmm that’s bankers for you!
  • 80% of people I have met asked within the first ten minutes whether I have a bike.  Melbournians are obsessed with this form of transport, it’s some sort of cult.

    It's ninja knitting!

    It’s ninja knitting!

  • I have been attacked by a bird.  I failed to see the offending creature but it hit me full whack on the back of my head and managed to claw my face, narrowly missing my eye.  If I thought emu’s could fly I’d have sworn it was one.
  • Ninja knitting is the go.  Lampposts, post boxes and anything stationary is decorated with colourful woollen designs.  It’s awesome!
  • Weather is a favoured topic of conversation; it makes me feel very much at home.  Though note to people who’ve never been to Yorkshire the temperature there never gets close to 40 degrees.  Plus Australian cities appear to have no drainage systems, so the slightest downpour means you are wet from the tips of your toes to your knees.
  • People are extraordinarily friendly, and often conversation springs up at the most unusual times.  Initially this made me feel rather suspicious, but have got use to the chatty nature of Melbourne residents.
  • I got caught jay walking, fine is in the post…. There was no moving traffic in the vicinity so it’s just ridiculous.


*I rather hope the $70 from my jay walking fine goes towards fixing the aforementioned poor drainage system.  Though I actually believe it’ll go on bacon and egg sandwiches….

Categories: Australia / Pacific, culture | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Hello Melbourne…..

  1. Susna

    He Helen,
    happy new year. But when I look into your travel plans that shouldn’t be a problem. I’m kind of jealous, especially on the weather. It is very fun reading, keep us up and running with the good stories.


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